Star of the week**

 

 

Denim is my first fashion love, so it comes as no surprise that yet again, my "Star of the Week" comprises of a denim gem of sorts - this time not even worn by me.

This is a picture of two friends (also former colleagues) of mine, Mila & Vuyo, rocking out the denim & studs trend that has made the biggest waves in fashion this season. Double thumbs up to these pretty ladies!

 

#denim #studs #gold

 

 



The cost of fulfilling the superficial self - a look at Macklemore's "Wings"

Recently, I've developed an obsession with Nike Free Run trainers and not just for gym purposes, but for casual daywear as well. Why? because fashion has taken us this far - to this point whereby wearing colourful trainers and sneakers is trendy. My latest issue of ELLE can attest to this, as it portrays the immense liking the fashion industry has taken towards this new fad, including pictures of the editor, Jackie Burger, and her team wearing different variations of such sneakers to the office. If anything, this issue made me all the more crazy for this fleeting trend. By this time next year I can imagine that my Free Run trainers will be strictly for gym again.

This makes me think back (not too long ago actually) to a time when one would be ridiculed for wearing a pair of trainers for any other purpose besides fitness, but now because a heavy price tag is attached to them and our glossies endorse them, we are all running to sportswear outlets. Even so, it is still only a certain kind of brand and specific make that is acceptable.

Wings by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis portrays to us how we have become slaves to consumerism and materialism. It shows how even from a very young age we are made to believe that our superficial self is an important part of ourselves to fulfil, but this comes at such a high cost - not just literally, as is illustrated by the lines below:

"Yo, I stick my tongue out so everyone can see that logo
Nike Air Flight, book bag was so dope
And then my friend Carlos' brother got murdered for his fours, whoa"

We buy into fads so easily and so often that we do not even realise it anymore. With buying into fads comes the "which brand did it best?" mentality, thus turning it into a survival of the fittest. The brand which churns out the best fad (relative to its competitors) will surely make its way into one's closet faster than the one which paid no attention to detail i.e. red sole vs. ordinary sole. Same pair of shoes, but because Polo has made the soles of their loafers red, you're going to opt for them over the now ordinary Woolies loafers. It is all part and parcel of fulfilling the superficial self, which exists in all of us. We forfeit functionality for aesthetics.

I am not saying we should just purchase our material possessions for comfort, practicality and functionality, because honestly that would take all the fun out of shopping. What I am saying (and I think Macklemore too) is that we ought not lose our identity over material possessions. What we have in our closet should not determine our worth.

I love fashion. I love good quality things. I like being lavish from time to time. I shop way too often, but I do this all within my means and I do it for MYSELF, not to prove to the next person that I can afford to wear such and such a brand, because trying to show off is what causes some people to lose themselves ultimately - exhibit A: Skhothanes! A matter that has been trivialised and laughed at, yet goes far beyond the act of just "showing off" to peers.
Wings is a beautiful, well written song, which highlights the issue of consumerism very well and with a concluding line like this: "It's just another. pair. of. shoes." it really makes one think.

Robyn's "Dancing on my own" **

"I'm just gonna dance all night

I'm all messed up, I'm so out of line

Stilettos and broken bottles

I'm spinning around in circles."

 

 

"So far away but still so near

The lights go on, the music dies

But you don't see me standing here

I just came to say goodbye."

 

 

Robyn Kleerup Dancing on my own lyrics (2 verses which resonate most with me)

 

Most girls can relate to some parts of this song much like me, but this is a phase of our lives which we absolutely have to outgrow and walk away from. These are games no one should have to play. We need to stop subjecting ourselves to being the lesser woman, falling victim to a deficit of self-worth. Own your womanhood. Own your dignity. I've done that. I'm doing that.

#growingpains

 



After centuries of men looking at my tits...

"After centuries of men looking at my tits instead of my eyes and pinching my a** instead of shaking my hand, I now have the DIVINE right to stare at a man's backside with vulgar, cheap appreciation if I want to."

 

 

Denise (Lisa Kudrow) on PS, I Love You

 

 



June Jordan**

"I am a feminist, and what that means to me is much the same as the meaning of the fact that I am Black: it means that I must undertake to love myself and to respect myself as though my very life depends upon self-love and self-respect."

 June Jordan

Chasing the hairline - a black girl's struggle** (chapter 1)

The black girl's receding hairline has become the punch line of many a joke, but is it really that much of  a laughing matter?

Not too long ago I posted a link to an article by Dr. Susan Taylor on Twitter, titled "What every black woman needs to know about hair loss." [link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-susan-taylor/black-women-hair-loss_b_1457285.h. Now usually when you see a post of this nature, you half expect it to have negative connotations, to be humorous, a mockery portrayed through a meme or an attack on black women telling us to burn our weaves and emancipate ourselves from white imperialism. It was none of the afore-mentioned - in fact, it was an informative and factual take on the root  (pun intended) causes of hair loss amongst black women. Dr. Taylor's intention was to make our women more aware of the fact that the very same hairstyles we pursue to salvage our hair are the ones that push us deeper into the hairline abyss. What stood out to me the most in this article was the part about hair loss support groups. Yes, chuckle, but for as long as a problem is a problem to one (wo)man, it ought not to be trivialised by the next. Hair loss may seem like a trivial matter to some, but when you've grown up aware of the "your hair is your crown" notion and suddenly when you look in the mirror, you see that some jewels have fallen off you crown, the gold is chipped and your reign is drawing nearer to an end, I can only imagine how much of a knock one's self-esteem must take in such a situation. At the end of the day, hair loss is to a woman in her prime what acne is to a teenager. Alas, we all have our insecurities.

As a matter of fact, my insecurity manifests itself in the hair department. First problem - I have my dad's hairline and it doesn't help that I have a big forehead to go with it - my dad started balding at the age of 35, does this mean I only have 13 years to go? Second problem - my hair lacks volume. Third problem - every other month I plant something new on my head. Recently I tweeted the following:
"Need a new hairstyle. Maybe I'll just go for my usual 'always-in-a-bun' twists. #blackgirlproblems #teamsavethehairline "

"Changing my hairstyle every month like I've been promised a new hairline."

The ugly truth here is that twists are not actually safe and easy on the hairline and yes, fact of the matter is that no one has actually promised me a new hairline, yet here I am defying such odds in the pursuit of fleeting beauty.


<<<March 2013



I have long hair, jet black in shade (Mom's genes), silky in texture (thanks to my hairdresser's GHD), but I insist on planting extensions. Why? I believe in the bun and the myth that your hair grows longer if you keep extensions on for long periods of time. On the former, my staple hairstyle is the classic bun, because it suits the shape of my face and I don't enjoy hair in my face. The latter? I'm starting to believe that this statement may hold true to a certain extent. Last year I cut my hair in a pixie sort of fashion. Now before I continue, believe me when I say my hair was in its PRIME (the longest it's ever been) just days before I made this decision, but I still went ahead with it in pursuit of cultivating a new image for myself. I regretted it instantly. A week later I was standing in front of the mirror, pulling my braids up into a bun. I had gotten these braids done in an attempt to bide time until my hair grew back again. I did not look ugly, I had just grown attached to my long hair and was not feeling up to explaining myself to everybody who inquired.

My point is that as human beings, change scares us. We fear what others are going to say. We conceal our problems (I'm actually not opposed to that) - I concealed a pretty sick haircut with braids, a haircut which later grew out into an asymmetrical bob, so like a Phoenix, I rose from my perceived ashes. We put people in boxes such as this one; "girls who wear weaves are superficial." That is not a fact. Granted, we're not all bold enough to go bald, but one should not fear that their next hairstyle is going to make them fall prey to public scrutiny.


<<<June/July 2013


You keeping your natural "nappy" hair does not make you more black than the girl with the Janet Jackson box braids or even the girl with a lace-front wig. We have been given these options, why not explore every avenue? My wallet. My hairline.

<<<April/May 2013



India Arie aptly says, "I am not my hair," and I say, "It's just hair, it grows back."